Parents

In olden days many (read most) parents yearned for a son. They thought it was a moment of pride when a baby boy was born. My mom says that the number of crackers burned after delivery signified the gender of the baby born. The kind of sweets distributed also varied based on gender and of course, the sweet considered to be superior was distributed when a baby boy was born. Today some remote parts of our country are still there. 

Now, the cities have moved on. Of course, a baby boy is still silently desired but the city has found its pride in something else. The city parents compete with the grades of their kids. They make them participate in some national olympiads at the age of 3, 4, 5 & 6! IIT-JEE coaching began in the olden days in 11th grade which eventually moved to 8th and now has moved to class 5! Reality shows have become a money making business for the production houses, TV stars and now even the parents of these talented innocent kids. Who would have thought that at the age of 5, that innocent kid would be taken to some studio in a metropolitan city, smashed with layers of Mac and asked to garner for TRPs of the shows! This is not less cruel than the animals asked to perform in a circus. 

Today's kids are nothing but puppets for the parents who look forward to satisfying their ego by using their intelligence, innocence and talent to outperform other parents. Reality shows are not a show of talent, it is a show of egos! I agree that not all parents are the same but the growing number of entries for these shows and enrolments for IIT coaching for kids at the age of ten certainly raises a doubt in my mind. 

I still don't remember what I did apart from playing in school in my kindergarten or even my primary education. I dawned on the rat race only when I was in tenth and everyone else made a fuss about it apart from me. But now, the rat race begins at 3 - I have overheard parents talking about their kid's interview at some renowned schools and how they have had a tough time preparing for it since their child was 2! The fuss about the child being in the first standard is even more. The whole hue and cry about education has gone away from education and settled itself into a war of egos! The richer and egoistic the parents, the better school (read expensive school) they choose for their child. 

And all this puts forth a question in front of all of us. When you achieve what you want for your child i. e. Board toppers, university toppers, CEOs, scientists at renowned research institutes and all your ego is satisfied, and you would want them to only respect you, love you and support you ( I am not even taking care of you), will they have the maturity and humility to do so? The robots and puppets that you are making, will those even travel from the USAs and Londons of the world to burn your dead body? 

Today is the time. Let that kid play with their grandparents, cousins and friends. Teach them how to take care of grandparents and how to treat someone when they're home. The love, the sense of gratitude and the childhood you gift them today will reflect back when you grow old. There is ample of time for them to make you proud. Your kid is a plant that will grow as much as you water it, expose it in the sun and nourish it, it is not a piece of wood for you to carve out the way you want. How big the plant becomes will also be determined by the storms it faces, the tsunamis it faces and how the birds it lives with support it. 

So live and let live!

MoI Issue- My outlook

While I set out to write this piece, I am probably inviting a lot of people to judge me, to comment on me, to be very critical and comment on everything that I am going to say. Probably because everybody reading, will come in with their pre-conceived thoughts. Ironically, the active participants of MoI issue will feel that I am a hardcore BJP supporter, or let me put it in the most obvious tags like, ‘Blind Parrikar supporter’. And because of some things, the other half would say I am just another critic who is criticizing the ‘Parrikar government’.

1^st and foremost, yes, I was an active participant in the MoI movement held against the then Goa Government. Also, I openly wrote articles against the policy framed and actively participated in all the activities. But, as the time progressed, and as I observed the movement and the problem closely, I realized that I was wrong to have protested. (Hold on before you abuse. Complete reading!) Guess why? Government- Be it formed by any party will do what the majority wants, why? Because in a democratic set up, what a government does is what the majority wants. But since the majority is ignorant, it is compelled to do what the minority wants.

 I am amazed by the kind of arguments that is put up just so that every government that comes to power is pressurized to take back the grants that are given to English medium primary schools. They say if the government takes back the grants, the parents would send their kids back to government primary schools. So, in a way this will happen out of helplessness and not out of will. Is this the amount of love that we have for our mother tongue? Do kids need to be compelled to love their mothers? Or do they need to have it naturally? Our mother does so much for us in our entire life that our conscience doesn’t let us do anything wrong to her. No one forces us to love our mother. Then why should someone force us to love our mother-tongue! And in the first place, is taking back grants the solution for the prosperity of our beloved mother-tongue? Is it? I confidently say, surely not. When the MoI policy didn’t give grants to the English medium schools, even then the government schools had just 4-5 students and just 1 teacher for classes from 1 to 4. So, even when the policy didn’t exist people didn’t opt for learning in the regional language. The reason being, lack of proper infrastructure, standard of education imparted and unavailability of capable teachers.

And what are we fighting for? That the grants should be taken back? Have we ever tried to fight for and ask for better government primary schools, good teachers and an environment conducive for the process of learning? What kind of language lovers are we if we believe only in fighting for our language and doing absolutely nothing for our language! I remember Uday Mhambro sir continuously putting up on Facebook about the lack of teachers in the government primary school in his village where he sends his daughter and how helpless he feels on not being able to provide his daughter with quality education just because he has always believed in learning through mother tongue. And I remember it never trended on facebook. Just 3-4 likes and it all evaporated in air. None of the lovers of regional languages appeared to ask for better schools. Like they didn’t seem to care. All that most of us knew was what the government should do. And had no clear vision on what we as lovers of language should do.

It is we who call ourselves the true lovers of regional languages who are responsible for everything that has been happening to our languages.  Because it were we who found pleasure in pulling down Digambar Kamat’s Government. It was we who said that Manohar Parrikar’s Government came to power because of us, and now we can pull him down if we want to. The issue of Medium of Instruction isn’t on anybody’s mind at this point of time. It’s our ego. We all  are planning to probably use the zeal- the energy of youth in the upcoming Lok Sabha Polls to show case our power. We want to teach our Chief Minister a lesson. Obviously because he didn’t fulfill his promises. He is the culprit. He is the sinner. He should be punished. He should be taught a lesson in the elections to come. We need to show him HOW MUCH we love our language and the only way is to pull down Mr. Parrikar. The problems would solve after that. And yes, none of us should do anything constructive for our language. All that we can do is, ‘Play the blame game!’ in the name of love for our language!

Inspiration packed in 3 and a half feet pack

I have been longing since yesterday, to get my internet pack recharged so that I can get onto my writing desk and update my blog after nearly 7 months. And there's that reason for it. There's something that has tickled  my brain. And there's an incident hovering in my brain.

Yesterday, I had been to a mediocre hospital to have a small word with a doctor and get myself checked up. The hospital like any other hospital smelled with phenyl compounds and all the other disinfectants that are usually used in a hospital. And the colors and environment was dull and gloomy. Off course, unless you're a doctor, you don't go to a hospital by choice. As I was waiting in the patient's waiting room, I observed all other patients. Some stared at the walls as though the world's going to end tomorrow, some just held their hand on their head like staying there is more painful than their disease, and some like me, were deep into their phones texting friends and smiling to their own self. But each one of us, trying to distract from the place where we had been: Hospital.

After some time, I saw a little chubby, fair, 3 and half feet tall, around 9 years old girl, hopping around, smiling, giggling and enjoying life. I just looked at her and I could see my childhood in her. I must have been the same. Equally adorable and cute, they called me 'Kolhapur'chi lavangi Mirchi' back then. But there was a small difference. And that small difference is actually the biggest difference.

That girl is fighting from cancer. One of the most deadliest diseases. She had lost all her hair in the chemo-therapy that she had undergone. Everyone was stunned to look at that little smiling angel. She was really my angel, my inspiration. Inspiration packed in 3 and a half feet tall pack. That made me go numb. I am sure the pain that she had gone was like any other cancer patient. But her face was glowing. All she knew was, this is the day and that is all she has. She had to make the most of it. Kids teach us a lot. they teach us how to live. How little to complain about and how much more to treat the gift of life as a blessing.

I don't know why we all are trying to fit ourselves into something. When we all are so simple, sober and beautiful at heart. It's the environment around us that makes us jealous, angry, and sad. Something that isn't there at all within us. The environment around shouldn't invade the peace deep inside us. The place within is just so beautiful. If there's heaven, it's within you.

I haven't complained to God for anything that he has done to me. I genuinely have asked for whatever I wanted, but never asked back why he didn't give me what I wanted. I have greatly believed in him and accepted the good and the bad as it came. But at one moment, I had to ask God, why SHE? But then, I realized. No other person than her could inspire many more, like she did. Everyone inside the waiting room had a change in their expression. They weren't smiling but yes they knew that their grief was too tiny. And that answered my question. God had inspired all of us there, at the cost of that little girl. A huge price had she paid to make each one of us happy of our pain. Clicking a picture of that angel didn't seem right, or else that could have inspired each one reading this post.

Valentines Day-180 degrees phase shift wala view :)

During the month of February, when you go to the gift shops, browse through cards, gifts, and every little thing, all you see is the color of love. Reds and pinks in every corner,  everything that stands out of other colors and smiles at you. You might deny this, but the smile reaches your heart. ;)

The concept of this day, might be western but the motto is so very simple. To celebrate a day and dedicate it to the one you love. Ah! and when I say the one you love, it could be anyone. Your family, your partner, your friends, best of your buddies-Anyone. If you ask me, for a reader a book is his valentine and for a writer, it's his pen. :) This day, doesn't really restrict to one person, because each person in your life is special and spreads love in a different way. But when the world around us is going materialistic, all I wish for is a day, when people think from one point of view, and that is of love and compassion. Because finally, we all are human beings. How much ever we scale, how much ever successful we get, how much ever we earn and get sci-fi, all we need is love and care.

Ideally, everyday should be celebrated. We need to live life to the fullest. We need to keep adding happiness in the lives of our loved ones. But, practically, everyday comes up with new challenges. You need to fight, you need to fall, you need to rise, you need to laugh and yes you need to cry. So, conceptually, celebrating this day is so very practical! At least one day in an year you need to make people in your life feel so very special. If you do that everyday, you're an angel. Kudos to you. :) But if you don't, 14th  February is the day.

Make this day very special. Not just others, but even your own self. Because remember, if you can't love yourself, you can't love others. Love, respect and care for your own self like never before. This valentine's day, 1st thing in the morning, go in front of the mirror and ask the person there, "Will you be my valentine?", and trust me that person will never let you down.

Celebrate the month of love. Love-live-Laugh :)

Toodles amis
Swarada

Love vs Hate

"You need power to do something bad, for everything else love is the only weapon", Someone said. ( I didn't  make an effort to google out who really did.) Doesn't really matter. Trust me, love is for those who can absorb it and not for those who just  let it flow over them and not absorb. I have heard people saying, "It hurts when one is not loved back". I say, "It hurts when your love is not valued." 

Doesn't really matter what kind of love. Love of friends, love of parents, love of pets, love of partner.. Everything is unique in it self.. The best example of how love not being valued hurts is, love of parents. I won't really complain if you don't value someone who wasn't in your life for all the past years, but I won't really entertain if you haven't valued your parents'  love enough. (exceptions exist). And I don't think I should explain you why and how. ( Since you've chosen to read through, I assume you are smart enough :P )

On occasions, I see people being loved by pets more than by people around. Maybe that signifies how more are we getting away from the people around rather than how well we are getting attached to the pets. It's not really bad, but something beyond, worries me. Again, exceptions exist but majority doesn't really make the minority visible. ( for obvious reasons)

If you ask me, there's nothing bad in hating people. But you should know why you hate them. And some day some how if you notice that the reason for your hatred has vanished, you should be mature enough to curb your hatred. ( If you can't, you'll be the reason for someone else's hatred. ;) ). People change, and it's upon us, to choose to notice or not. 

I don't think anyone lives for hatred. ( though some profs and teachers were made to absorb all the hatred in the world. So in a way, they leave little scope for hatred for others. Same applies to the Indian politicians. They all do their bit of social work ;) )We all live for love, but some have the art to really get it. And if my sarcasm doesn't hurt you, some have the art of being hated.  ( If you think, I taunted you, then yes you were :P :D )

If someone thinks that by spreading love they can live like a saint, I think I should remind you that saints are the ones who first keep love out of themselves and then the hatred. So, by spreading love, you are not a saint. ( Doesn't mean I am spreading hatred. If I was a cartoonist, I was supposed to be behind bars by now. :P ;) )

The best thing about people who are hated is that, they think that the world is wrong. I have seen something like this:- "If you are are hated by too many number of people, you are getting on to the path of success". But my friend, Kasab is hated by all of us, so you mean he did good? For me, it doesn't really matter if someone hates me, I can do little to make someone love me or hate me. But I can surely find the reason for hatred, and if it's fair enough, I promise I will change.:)

My philosophical approach might doze you off through the post, but if you can get to the minutest details, you'll find a lot of truth in the words than just typing off words. And if you have got a philosophical approach, I don't promise that you'll live longer, but I promise you'll live happier. :)

Toodles Amis

With love and laughter

Swarada

Tea for two....

"Dreams are reality, only if you choose to stay awake". Be it career, love or life as a whole.. Preeti Shenoy, teaches you to balance all this through one story, that I think comes in as an eye-opener to any layman who has his own pre-conceived thoughts about love stories, marriages, divorces, careers. If you've read 'Life is what you make it' by her, Tea for two and a piece cake easily draws your attention. The next thing you do is grab the book off the shelf and read like a maniac.

People, teens/youngsters especially, lament over break ups and the lows in their relationships and stuff. Nisha's story shows how worse it can be and yet how brave you got to be to get out of it successfully.
Some kind of inspiration that finds it's way deep inside us, something that we certainly lack..
Indian  mentality that discourages women to think about their own self, or that puts husbands at the first place, is found to be successfully challenged. Neither the male ego is hurt nor the Indian values of the women are discouraged, yet the right gets the right push forward while the negative quietly fades away..

The book shows the true sense of love and pulls out people from the fairy tale 'love stories' and hence makes an enduring effect on the reader's mind.. First love is appreciated, but 2nd love is appreciated even more, because it signifies victory of two things; one is the strength of an Indian woman and second is unconditional love.

Preeti Shenoy, should be thanked for serving the dish  in the Indian women's plate in the most appealing way.

You almost figure faces around who might be going through this. You actually get over the waves and enjoy the ride over them.. The book makes the scenes seem as if they were happening in front of you; maybe in a cinema hall?

If someone's got a lot to cry over their past, gift them a copy. Makes sure that they realize their own worth.

If there's an Indian woman who smiles just being proud of her life only to realize that what she has got is much better than what Nisha went through, or even if there's someone who's going through  something similar and finds a way out; I think every copy of the book being sold, serves it's purpose.

For every tear that dries and for every smile that finds it's way on an Indian woman's face because of this book; Preeti Shenoy deserves a salute. * Respect*

With Love And Laughter

-Swarada Sanjay Dessai

Finally! The mess that got cleared!

I remember how people describe their clean up sessions. How their mommies yell at them when it's to be cleaned and they describe it in the senti status updates with all the memories..

But for me, I have never experienced this. The world though was always untidy, my room was always clean. :D I never thought it could get worse too. My desktop and my room were always clean. But these semesters, I could experience what's an untidy room! Today when my mom yelled at me like hell, I took a glance to check what's wrong with my room. She even told me a cousin of mine has said, "Though Swarada has got her room decor done very tastefully, it's all in a mess." And when actually saw, it was worse! I laughed at myself. There were coffee mugs, ice-cream sticks, some half eaten fruit plates, data cable, charger, head phones, novels, the huge doggy, clothes, notes, references  .. Oh my god!! My study desk was also a hell.! 

I finally got on to the mission cleaning.. Started by cleaning my bed and stuff.. clearing plates, mugs and ice cream sticks.. I laughed a lot. There was nothing senti about all this stuff. I just couldn't believe I could let the mess get so much. :-P When I saw the clothes lying around, which I had thrown while choosing what to wear I realized, I had always picked up the first one that I saw and still thrown others. I couldn't believe. And I even can't explain now. After exams, I had been so busy with filling books in the kart, surfing, chatting, meeting; that I couldn't even notice the mess. 

Now, finally that my room is chakachak, I can at least let people in to have a chat in my room. Lol. I feel like 'my world' is clean. The mess has finally been cleared. I know what I want, And what I don't want. Seriously! I am smiling that I managed to get back on track so well. :)

I found a true friend too when I checked my mail box while cleaning. Makes me happy again!

I finally found time to talk to 'Tinnie teeny'.. My diary.. Indeed blissful. I just can't tell you how I love it. Reading 'Tea for two and a piece of cake' has made me maniac though, I could just pull out some time to describe 'the mess that got cleared'.. haha.. It's girly i know.. :-P But still it's okay to share.. :-D 

 

With Love and laughter

-swarada