Love vs Hate

"You need power to do something bad, for everything else love is the only weapon", Someone said. ( I didn't  make an effort to google out who really did.) Doesn't really matter. Trust me, love is for those who can absorb it and not for those who just  let it flow over them and not absorb. I have heard people saying, "It hurts when one is not loved back". I say, "It hurts when your love is not valued." 

Doesn't really matter what kind of love. Love of friends, love of parents, love of pets, love of partner.. Everything is unique in it self.. The best example of how love not being valued hurts is, love of parents. I won't really complain if you don't value someone who wasn't in your life for all the past years, but I won't really entertain if you haven't valued your parents'  love enough. (exceptions exist). And I don't think I should explain you why and how. ( Since you've chosen to read through, I assume you are smart enough :P )

On occasions, I see people being loved by pets more than by people around. Maybe that signifies how more are we getting away from the people around rather than how well we are getting attached to the pets. It's not really bad, but something beyond, worries me. Again, exceptions exist but majority doesn't really make the minority visible. ( for obvious reasons)

If you ask me, there's nothing bad in hating people. But you should know why you hate them. And some day some how if you notice that the reason for your hatred has vanished, you should be mature enough to curb your hatred. ( If you can't, you'll be the reason for someone else's hatred. ;) ). People change, and it's upon us, to choose to notice or not. 

I don't think anyone lives for hatred. ( though some profs and teachers were made to absorb all the hatred in the world. So in a way, they leave little scope for hatred for others. Same applies to the Indian politicians. They all do their bit of social work ;) )We all live for love, but some have the art to really get it. And if my sarcasm doesn't hurt you, some have the art of being hated.  ( If you think, I taunted you, then yes you were :P :D )

If someone thinks that by spreading love they can live like a saint, I think I should remind you that saints are the ones who first keep love out of themselves and then the hatred. So, by spreading love, you are not a saint. ( Doesn't mean I am spreading hatred. If I was a cartoonist, I was supposed to be behind bars by now. :P ;) )

The best thing about people who are hated is that, they think that the world is wrong. I have seen something like this:- "If you are are hated by too many number of people, you are getting on to the path of success". But my friend, Kasab is hated by all of us, so you mean he did good? For me, it doesn't really matter if someone hates me, I can do little to make someone love me or hate me. But I can surely find the reason for hatred, and if it's fair enough, I promise I will change.:)

My philosophical approach might doze you off through the post, but if you can get to the minutest details, you'll find a lot of truth in the words than just typing off words. And if you have got a philosophical approach, I don't promise that you'll live longer, but I promise you'll live happier. :)

Toodles Amis

With love and laughter

Swarada

Tea for two....

"Dreams are reality, only if you choose to stay awake". Be it career, love or life as a whole.. Preeti Shenoy, teaches you to balance all this through one story, that I think comes in as an eye-opener to any layman who has his own pre-conceived thoughts about love stories, marriages, divorces, careers. If you've read 'Life is what you make it' by her, Tea for two and a piece cake easily draws your attention. The next thing you do is grab the book off the shelf and read like a maniac.

People, teens/youngsters especially, lament over break ups and the lows in their relationships and stuff. Nisha's story shows how worse it can be and yet how brave you got to be to get out of it successfully.
Some kind of inspiration that finds it's way deep inside us, something that we certainly lack..
Indian  mentality that discourages women to think about their own self, or that puts husbands at the first place, is found to be successfully challenged. Neither the male ego is hurt nor the Indian values of the women are discouraged, yet the right gets the right push forward while the negative quietly fades away..

The book shows the true sense of love and pulls out people from the fairy tale 'love stories' and hence makes an enduring effect on the reader's mind.. First love is appreciated, but 2nd love is appreciated even more, because it signifies victory of two things; one is the strength of an Indian woman and second is unconditional love.

Preeti Shenoy, should be thanked for serving the dish  in the Indian women's plate in the most appealing way.

You almost figure faces around who might be going through this. You actually get over the waves and enjoy the ride over them.. The book makes the scenes seem as if they were happening in front of you; maybe in a cinema hall?

If someone's got a lot to cry over their past, gift them a copy. Makes sure that they realize their own worth.

If there's an Indian woman who smiles just being proud of her life only to realize that what she has got is much better than what Nisha went through, or even if there's someone who's going through  something similar and finds a way out; I think every copy of the book being sold, serves it's purpose.

For every tear that dries and for every smile that finds it's way on an Indian woman's face because of this book; Preeti Shenoy deserves a salute. * Respect*

With Love And Laughter

-Swarada Sanjay Dessai

Finally! The mess that got cleared!

I remember how people describe their clean up sessions. How their mommies yell at them when it's to be cleaned and they describe it in the senti status updates with all the memories..

But for me, I have never experienced this. The world though was always untidy, my room was always clean. :D I never thought it could get worse too. My desktop and my room were always clean. But these semesters, I could experience what's an untidy room! Today when my mom yelled at me like hell, I took a glance to check what's wrong with my room. She even told me a cousin of mine has said, "Though Swarada has got her room decor done very tastefully, it's all in a mess." And when actually saw, it was worse! I laughed at myself. There were coffee mugs, ice-cream sticks, some half eaten fruit plates, data cable, charger, head phones, novels, the huge doggy, clothes, notes, references  .. Oh my god!! My study desk was also a hell.! 

I finally got on to the mission cleaning.. Started by cleaning my bed and stuff.. clearing plates, mugs and ice cream sticks.. I laughed a lot. There was nothing senti about all this stuff. I just couldn't believe I could let the mess get so much. :-P When I saw the clothes lying around, which I had thrown while choosing what to wear I realized, I had always picked up the first one that I saw and still thrown others. I couldn't believe. And I even can't explain now. After exams, I had been so busy with filling books in the kart, surfing, chatting, meeting; that I couldn't even notice the mess. 

Now, finally that my room is chakachak, I can at least let people in to have a chat in my room. Lol. I feel like 'my world' is clean. The mess has finally been cleared. I know what I want, And what I don't want. Seriously! I am smiling that I managed to get back on track so well. :)

I found a true friend too when I checked my mail box while cleaning. Makes me happy again!

I finally found time to talk to 'Tinnie teeny'.. My diary.. Indeed blissful. I just can't tell you how I love it. Reading 'Tea for two and a piece of cake' has made me maniac though, I could just pull out some time to describe 'the mess that got cleared'.. haha.. It's girly i know.. :-P But still it's okay to share.. :-D 

 

With Love and laughter

-swarada

Life is what you make it..!

Today, early in the morning, I went back to 'Life is what you make it'. I can't describe the awesomeness of the novel. I believe EVERYONE in this world, should read it.. Or no! Everyone should live it. Even if this was my second time, tears rolled down my eyes.

No, not because I had survived a massive accident yesterday, but because I have gone through a similar situation like 'Ankita' in the novel has gone through. A year and a half, dealing with your brain, mood swings, side effects. Everything. I know what death is. And even hell! I have lived it myself. So, when someone jokes about dying, I feel like showing them what I have gone through. I know how precious life is. But 'Preeti Shenoy' has just made me realize how strong I was when I tackled all this. She maybe made me realize 'my' importance. I have not gone through 'Bipolar disorder' like shown in the novel, I wish not to also. But brain disorder, of any kind, is something you really won't like to have. But if you have lived through it, nothing else will destroy you. NOTHING. 

People joke of suicides, hospitalization and make me feel sick. Because I have seen death, closely enough to know what it is. Dying one day is okay. What if you've died everyday? Think. Forget my friends, loved ones; I won't wish even my enemies go through it. And I mean it when I say it. This is the reason why low grades, or losing/ winning makes no sense to me. Finally, my friends, my family and me myself is the biggest gift I have been gifted. When someone gets on my mind, people get astonished how much I talk about them. At home I talk about Anish (Borkar-cousin), Tanvi, Sawani.  And now a days, since I have read 'life is what you make it' I talk about it. I keep telling people how 'important' life is. and then they feel I am an emotional fool. :D (many of my relatives don't even know I am a winner already. I have won my life back. haha)

When I cry over petty things in life, I remind myself of my past. Not because I like to live in it, but because there lies the 'strength' . I collect it and put it back in my bag. :) I know so many people who go through things, but don't show or tell people what they've gone through. They think strength lies in keeping things to yourself. But, no my dear friend, it takes great strength in telling boldly the world what you've gone through. Because after this, there's a possibility that people keep distance with you or make fun of you. But then, when you've gone through so well, I just can laugh with the people who laugh at me. :)

I always tag my brain as the only one of it's kind. Limited edition. Haha. ;) And I thank god that it gave me one of it's kind. Because now, any situation, yep any situation seems not bigger than what I have tackled. And I am proud of myself. Any day.

The purpose of this blog post was not to 'show off' my triumph.. I just wanted to make you realize how loving yourself for the right reasons and in the 'right' sense is very important. Don't be what the world thinks you must be. Be what you want to. I sum it up with last few lines of the novel.

“If you do not laugh for a day, if you have not made someone’s day happier, if you have not appreciated something good that has happened to you and if you have not felt thankful to be alive, then you have wasted that day of your life on earth.”

After all, LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT ! :)

Toodles Amis.

Wishing Love and Laughter
Swarada

मी अशी कशी? :)

जन्माला आल्यापासून  या जगाने मला आपल्या मोह मायेच्या जाळ्यात ओढलं. एखादं यश निसटल की नैराश्य येऊ लागलं. दुसऱ्याच्या यश-अपयशाने फरक नाही पडला कधी पण स्वतःचं यश वाळू सारखा निसटताना पाहून दु:ख नेहमीच झालं. स्वतःमुळे कधी तर कधी परिस्थितीमुळे. पण इतरांना किंवा परिस्थितीला दोष देणाऱ्याला म्हणे जग दोष देतं. म्हणून नेहमीच स्वतःचं दु:ख छोटं आहे असच मानून चालत राहिले.. 

हसण्याची आणि हसवण्याची सवयच झाली. कितीही वाईट वेळ आली तरी जग आपल्या पेक्षा किती तरी दु:खी आहे एवढ्यासाठी नेहमी गप्प बसले. माझे घरचे आणि अनिश या बाहेरही मैत्री आणि जग असतं हे कळण्यासाठी एका आंदोलनाची गरज पडली. मी आज जशी आहे तशी मी कधीच नव्हते एवढं मात्र खरं. नेहमी वरचेवर मैत्री, गप्पा, गोंधळ आणि शेवटी एकांतात घुसमट या पलीकडे जगच नव्हता ना माझं.. आणि वरून परीक्षेच्या यशामागे पाळणं तर चालूच होतं.. असे कितीतरी लोक होते जे माझ्या एका अपयशाने दुरावले. पण एकंच समजलं. ज्या माणसाला स्वार्थ साधता येत नाही तो कुठेही जगूच शकत नाही.

त्या एका अपयशाने सुरवात झाली ती मी कोण आहे आणि मला काय करायचय या शोधाकडे. हा शोध कधीही पूर्णच झाला नसता जर मी गोमंतकवर आलेल्या एका लेखावर चिडून स्वतः पेन आणि पेपर हातात घेऊन स्वतःचे विचार मांडले नसते तर. कारण त्याचमुळे मला एक गोष्ट समजली की मी माझ्या बाहेरच्या जगामुळेच फार प्रभावित होते. त्यामुळे स्वतःच्या जर मनाला शांती मिळवायची असेल तर माझ्या आजूबाजूलाच मला बदलावं लागेल एवढं समजलं. अजूनही आठवतो तो एप्रिल महिना मला. नेहमी विपिन शिरसाट काकांचा दुकानावर जायचे रंग आणायला. रंगकाम चालू होतं घराचं. एक दिवस सहज मी माझा लेख त्यांना दाखवला. काय वाटलं कुणास ठाऊक विपिन काकांना पण त्यांनी भाषा माध्यम प्रश्न माझ्या समोर मांडला.. चर्चा सुरु. रात्री सगळी दुकानं बंद झाली होती. पण या विषयावर सखोल मंथन चालूच होतं. पोटात उंदीर जशी भूक लागली आहे याची जाणीव करून देत होते तसेच हे विचार या विषयावर भूक वाढवत नेत होते.. शेवटी एक ढाचा तयार झाला. एक लेख लिहिण्याचं ठरलं देखील.

संपूर्ण लेख तयार झाला आणि त्या विषयी पुन्हा काकांकडून विचार जाणून घेतले. १५ एप्रिल २०११ या दिवशी तो लेख ऊर्जा, गोमंतक मध्ये छापला गेला. खूप प्रमाणात लोकांना हे विचार पटले. प्रशंसाही मिळाली आणि मला स्वतःचे विचार खंबीरपणे मांडण्याची सवयच झाली. त्यानंतर माझा भाषा माध्यम, आणि भ्रष्टाचार विरुद्ध भारत सारख्या आंदोलनातून वावर जग जाहीर आहे. पण त्या मागे माझी लेखणी आणि ते विचार फार महत्वाचे ठरले. आज भाषा माध्यमावर लागलेल्या निकालात मला यश दिसत नाही पण समाधान नक्कीच दिसतंय. एक ना एक दिवस सगळ्यांनी केलेल्या परिश्रमांच फळ नक्की मिळेल. लोकांवर, सत्ताधारकांवर नव्हे तर मला देवावर आणि एवढ्या सगळ्या वावरलेल्या लोकांच्या विश्वासावर विश्वास आहे. आणि ते समाधान राखण्यासाठी आता खारीचा वाट उचलण्यासाठीही मी सज्ज आहे.

या आंदोलनात मी भाग घेतला नसता तरी २ हात आणि २ पाय अजून कुणाचे तरी लाभलेच असते या आंदोलनाला. पण या आंदोलनामुळे मला जेवढा एक व्यक्ती म्हणून फायदा झाला त्या बद्दल मी या आंदोलनाची आभारी आहे. मान-अपमान, यश-अपयश या पलीकडेही 'समाधान' आणि स्वतःला जे पटतं तेच करण्याची ताकद मला लाभली. आजही विचार केला की जर हे आंदोलन झालंच नसतं तर? दिगंबर कामतने माझा वैयक्तिक फायदा केलेला माझ्या नेहमीच लक्षात राहील. :P  पण आज मी जे जसे आहे त्याला हे आंदोलनच कारण आहे हे मात्र खरं.

जवळ जवळ एक वर्ष उलटून गेल्यानंतर  त्या स्मृतींवर आज एक प्रकाश घालण्याचा मनात विचार आला आणि माझ्या एवढ्या 'समाधानी' वृत्तीचं कारण उलगडण्याचाही विचार आला म्हणून हे  विचार वाहू दिलेत. :)

Don't Suicide- Life's beautiful :)

Sometimes I feel like taking nirvana.. Nah! Don’t be so happy, I only think of it and I make sure I get rid of the thought ASAP! ;) But the big reason I feel this, is because of the rat race! We fight like rats to get over the top. That is okay. But when someone gets there, we get hurt only because we couldn’t make it there. Hello? What do you get when you get jealous of others eh? What? You are burning yourself! As if you are committing suicide. The person getting there isn’t responsible for the situation, you are!

No. Not because you couldn’t make it there. Luck matters. You weren’t bad. He was better. But you are wrong the moment you feel humiliated with other’s success.. Clap for it! Enjoy it rather. You will always feel better. Your loss wasn’t when you lost, it was when you thought you have lost! If you think you didn’t win, yes you right. But if you think you have lost, you are right again. Only because you’ve lost the spirit of sportsmanship!

I’ve heard there are coaching centers where they train you to get to the door step of success. (I’ve got no idea if they are successful or not. And don’t ask for any contact numbers. I disregard such stuff :P) But they aren’t so necessary. People get there some way somehow. By pulling someone else down; bribe; the “bhagwan, baba ka aashirwaad”; or by simply working hard. People use different ways to get there. Some stay there too. But what we really need to do, is open up coaching centers to guide people through when they don’t make it there.

No. Not again so that they get on to the path of success. Hypnotism, psychiatrists, counselors are doing a great job with that. We need centers to actually coach them to not get jealous with what others have got.  It’s okay if someone else has won.  It took something different to get there, maybe they had it. But you need to appreciate it.

For ex, MS Dhoni( not just because he’s ma favorite player and all that). Poor guy(do not take the literal meaning), makes it to the play offs. Call it luck or fixing. Accept that he made it there. He did tremendously well in the qualifiers. Made it to the finals. So? Jealous? He got there. Clap champ! Point out no loop holes unless you’ve got the proof that it was fixed. No. A big No!

Same way, stop the blame game. We, Indians, have got the habit. We are more interested in what our neighbors are doing when our house has already caught fire! And mind you I see it every day. Every single day. And I always smile at their mentality. The least amount of time god must have spent on these people to design their mentality. Education, status, money- the world’s biggest traders also can’t trade mentality. God should spend ample amount of time on your mentality and not on your brain. Someone is less intelligent, it’s okay. He’ll earn his bread. Do his bit for the society. And leave this world. He would neither harm nor improve the society. Because he has the mentality, but poor thing can’t put the mentality to practice the good things because he hasn’t got the brains. People with brains and good mentality both(this combo is super precious.. God spends most of his time on it) improve the society. Try to uplift the society by helping the less intelligent people. But they can’t do anything for the next 2 categories. One is with wrong mentality and poor brains. And the other is wrong mentality and awesome brains. (Rich [black money richness not the white one J] human beings [read as entities] and politicians{lemme mention: NOT ALL: they might file a case against me. ‘sansad ka apmaan and stuff’} add value to this one because they are a part of it.)

Logically, coaching centers can’t help anybody. :P because mentality is god gifted. If you’ve got intelligence. Nice. If you’ve got good mentality. Salute. But if you’ve got a combo, *RESPECT*.

So, next time when you lose, remember to keep a check on what you are thinking about the person winning. And tick the category you belong to. It’ll be a secret though, but you’ll know the minima you can get. J

Keep up the check game. Success will be all yours!

Hoping that this will change your mentality.

Toodles amis! J

Good night J

Mother's Day: And much beyond..!

I don't really have to talk about mothers. We all are here all because of them.. I remember those old middle school days when would write about our mothers. With all the things from daily chores like washing our clothes, washing our utensils, cooking food for us, to making our favorite break snack; we would think these were the reasons we should be always grateful to our mothers.. But then when there came maids in houses or mother working went working; we realized, no! she's great for reasons much beyond..

For the lessons of walking, for scolding us when we did wrong, for caring and loving unconditionally-everything.. For everything that she did, all those little things she did everyday; we owe her so much beyond our  capacity to give her back..

 I, myself have scaled some serious things in life in months, that people usually took years to scale; because of the strong determination and belief she always inculcated in me. When I saw her bravely tackling things. I felt proud of my mother who not only managed the domestic work(of course with a  little domestic help!), managed her work pressures and also contributed to the society and it's well being in her small little way.. Over the years I've seen relatives and friends commenting over her social involvement and calling it 'useless'; but still she has kept herself strong enough and continued it with increasing intensity.. (Here, I would also mention that baba has a share here.. because he has always stood besides her against the odds)

I remember the day when she broke down when there was irregularity found in my EEG report! She appeared strong enough, but had broken. After all, she's a mother.. But then, the way she responded the second minute with all the perfect planning and determination, my half irregularity disappeared with the kind of confidence she had! Those positive vibes maybe have just gone through my blood well enough to take everything positively and give a damn to the life! People usually feel I was brave enough to have recovered so well and fought with the odds.. No friends, it was this very person who made me like that! *Salute*

The best part is, she probably knows all little changes which take place in me. She warns me well before I express anything.. She notices me at the right time when I am smiling to myself.. She teases me like friends do. I make sure I don't confess anything, maybe because she knows almost everything. There is always a fake environment I create, where she resides happily, though we both usually know what's the real thing.. 

Tomorrow is mother's day. I have planned absolutely nothing for her. And I am not going to plan too! Not because I don't feel like, but because those lifeless things have no comparison with what my 'aaii' has done for me.. I can only love her back... That is the only thing I can do.. And I think she doesn't need more.. She has been loving me unconditionally!

We don't usually say this to each other but the little gestures say it.. Today, on the larger platform I want to say it.. 

"I love you aaii"..

With due respect for all the mothers, I take your leave.

Happy mother's day! <3 <3 <3

Toodles..

-swarada :)