Finally! The mess that got cleared!

I remember how people describe their clean up sessions. How their mommies yell at them when it's to be cleaned and they describe it in the senti status updates with all the memories..

But for me, I have never experienced this. The world though was always untidy, my room was always clean. :D I never thought it could get worse too. My desktop and my room were always clean. But these semesters, I could experience what's an untidy room! Today when my mom yelled at me like hell, I took a glance to check what's wrong with my room. She even told me a cousin of mine has said, "Though Swarada has got her room decor done very tastefully, it's all in a mess." And when actually saw, it was worse! I laughed at myself. There were coffee mugs, ice-cream sticks, some half eaten fruit plates, data cable, charger, head phones, novels, the huge doggy, clothes, notes, references  .. Oh my god!! My study desk was also a hell.! 

I finally got on to the mission cleaning.. Started by cleaning my bed and stuff.. clearing plates, mugs and ice cream sticks.. I laughed a lot. There was nothing senti about all this stuff. I just couldn't believe I could let the mess get so much. :-P When I saw the clothes lying around, which I had thrown while choosing what to wear I realized, I had always picked up the first one that I saw and still thrown others. I couldn't believe. And I even can't explain now. After exams, I had been so busy with filling books in the kart, surfing, chatting, meeting; that I couldn't even notice the mess. 

Now, finally that my room is chakachak, I can at least let people in to have a chat in my room. Lol. I feel like 'my world' is clean. The mess has finally been cleared. I know what I want, And what I don't want. Seriously! I am smiling that I managed to get back on track so well. :)

I found a true friend too when I checked my mail box while cleaning. Makes me happy again!

I finally found time to talk to 'Tinnie teeny'.. My diary.. Indeed blissful. I just can't tell you how I love it. Reading 'Tea for two and a piece of cake' has made me maniac though, I could just pull out some time to describe 'the mess that got cleared'.. haha.. It's girly i know.. :-P But still it's okay to share.. :-D 

 

With Love and laughter

-swarada

Life is what you make it..!

Today, early in the morning, I went back to 'Life is what you make it'. I can't describe the awesomeness of the novel. I believe EVERYONE in this world, should read it.. Or no! Everyone should live it. Even if this was my second time, tears rolled down my eyes.

No, not because I had survived a massive accident yesterday, but because I have gone through a similar situation like 'Ankita' in the novel has gone through. A year and a half, dealing with your brain, mood swings, side effects. Everything. I know what death is. And even hell! I have lived it myself. So, when someone jokes about dying, I feel like showing them what I have gone through. I know how precious life is. But 'Preeti Shenoy' has just made me realize how strong I was when I tackled all this. She maybe made me realize 'my' importance. I have not gone through 'Bipolar disorder' like shown in the novel, I wish not to also. But brain disorder, of any kind, is something you really won't like to have. But if you have lived through it, nothing else will destroy you. NOTHING. 

People joke of suicides, hospitalization and make me feel sick. Because I have seen death, closely enough to know what it is. Dying one day is okay. What if you've died everyday? Think. Forget my friends, loved ones; I won't wish even my enemies go through it. And I mean it when I say it. This is the reason why low grades, or losing/ winning makes no sense to me. Finally, my friends, my family and me myself is the biggest gift I have been gifted. When someone gets on my mind, people get astonished how much I talk about them. At home I talk about Anish (Borkar-cousin), Tanvi, Sawani.  And now a days, since I have read 'life is what you make it' I talk about it. I keep telling people how 'important' life is. and then they feel I am an emotional fool. :D (many of my relatives don't even know I am a winner already. I have won my life back. haha)

When I cry over petty things in life, I remind myself of my past. Not because I like to live in it, but because there lies the 'strength' . I collect it and put it back in my bag. :) I know so many people who go through things, but don't show or tell people what they've gone through. They think strength lies in keeping things to yourself. But, no my dear friend, it takes great strength in telling boldly the world what you've gone through. Because after this, there's a possibility that people keep distance with you or make fun of you. But then, when you've gone through so well, I just can laugh with the people who laugh at me. :)

I always tag my brain as the only one of it's kind. Limited edition. Haha. ;) And I thank god that it gave me one of it's kind. Because now, any situation, yep any situation seems not bigger than what I have tackled. And I am proud of myself. Any day.

The purpose of this blog post was not to 'show off' my triumph.. I just wanted to make you realize how loving yourself for the right reasons and in the 'right' sense is very important. Don't be what the world thinks you must be. Be what you want to. I sum it up with last few lines of the novel.

“If you do not laugh for a day, if you have not made someone’s day happier, if you have not appreciated something good that has happened to you and if you have not felt thankful to be alive, then you have wasted that day of your life on earth.”

After all, LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT ! :)

Toodles Amis.

Wishing Love and Laughter
Swarada

मी अशी कशी? :)

जन्माला आल्यापासून  या जगाने मला आपल्या मोह मायेच्या जाळ्यात ओढलं. एखादं यश निसटल की नैराश्य येऊ लागलं. दुसऱ्याच्या यश-अपयशाने फरक नाही पडला कधी पण स्वतःचं यश वाळू सारखा निसटताना पाहून दु:ख नेहमीच झालं. स्वतःमुळे कधी तर कधी परिस्थितीमुळे. पण इतरांना किंवा परिस्थितीला दोष देणाऱ्याला म्हणे जग दोष देतं. म्हणून नेहमीच स्वतःचं दु:ख छोटं आहे असच मानून चालत राहिले.. 

हसण्याची आणि हसवण्याची सवयच झाली. कितीही वाईट वेळ आली तरी जग आपल्या पेक्षा किती तरी दु:खी आहे एवढ्यासाठी नेहमी गप्प बसले. माझे घरचे आणि अनिश या बाहेरही मैत्री आणि जग असतं हे कळण्यासाठी एका आंदोलनाची गरज पडली. मी आज जशी आहे तशी मी कधीच नव्हते एवढं मात्र खरं. नेहमी वरचेवर मैत्री, गप्पा, गोंधळ आणि शेवटी एकांतात घुसमट या पलीकडे जगच नव्हता ना माझं.. आणि वरून परीक्षेच्या यशामागे पाळणं तर चालूच होतं.. असे कितीतरी लोक होते जे माझ्या एका अपयशाने दुरावले. पण एकंच समजलं. ज्या माणसाला स्वार्थ साधता येत नाही तो कुठेही जगूच शकत नाही.

त्या एका अपयशाने सुरवात झाली ती मी कोण आहे आणि मला काय करायचय या शोधाकडे. हा शोध कधीही पूर्णच झाला नसता जर मी गोमंतकवर आलेल्या एका लेखावर चिडून स्वतः पेन आणि पेपर हातात घेऊन स्वतःचे विचार मांडले नसते तर. कारण त्याचमुळे मला एक गोष्ट समजली की मी माझ्या बाहेरच्या जगामुळेच फार प्रभावित होते. त्यामुळे स्वतःच्या जर मनाला शांती मिळवायची असेल तर माझ्या आजूबाजूलाच मला बदलावं लागेल एवढं समजलं. अजूनही आठवतो तो एप्रिल महिना मला. नेहमी विपिन शिरसाट काकांचा दुकानावर जायचे रंग आणायला. रंगकाम चालू होतं घराचं. एक दिवस सहज मी माझा लेख त्यांना दाखवला. काय वाटलं कुणास ठाऊक विपिन काकांना पण त्यांनी भाषा माध्यम प्रश्न माझ्या समोर मांडला.. चर्चा सुरु. रात्री सगळी दुकानं बंद झाली होती. पण या विषयावर सखोल मंथन चालूच होतं. पोटात उंदीर जशी भूक लागली आहे याची जाणीव करून देत होते तसेच हे विचार या विषयावर भूक वाढवत नेत होते.. शेवटी एक ढाचा तयार झाला. एक लेख लिहिण्याचं ठरलं देखील.

संपूर्ण लेख तयार झाला आणि त्या विषयी पुन्हा काकांकडून विचार जाणून घेतले. १५ एप्रिल २०११ या दिवशी तो लेख ऊर्जा, गोमंतक मध्ये छापला गेला. खूप प्रमाणात लोकांना हे विचार पटले. प्रशंसाही मिळाली आणि मला स्वतःचे विचार खंबीरपणे मांडण्याची सवयच झाली. त्यानंतर माझा भाषा माध्यम, आणि भ्रष्टाचार विरुद्ध भारत सारख्या आंदोलनातून वावर जग जाहीर आहे. पण त्या मागे माझी लेखणी आणि ते विचार फार महत्वाचे ठरले. आज भाषा माध्यमावर लागलेल्या निकालात मला यश दिसत नाही पण समाधान नक्कीच दिसतंय. एक ना एक दिवस सगळ्यांनी केलेल्या परिश्रमांच फळ नक्की मिळेल. लोकांवर, सत्ताधारकांवर नव्हे तर मला देवावर आणि एवढ्या सगळ्या वावरलेल्या लोकांच्या विश्वासावर विश्वास आहे. आणि ते समाधान राखण्यासाठी आता खारीचा वाट उचलण्यासाठीही मी सज्ज आहे.

या आंदोलनात मी भाग घेतला नसता तरी २ हात आणि २ पाय अजून कुणाचे तरी लाभलेच असते या आंदोलनाला. पण या आंदोलनामुळे मला जेवढा एक व्यक्ती म्हणून फायदा झाला त्या बद्दल मी या आंदोलनाची आभारी आहे. मान-अपमान, यश-अपयश या पलीकडेही 'समाधान' आणि स्वतःला जे पटतं तेच करण्याची ताकद मला लाभली. आजही विचार केला की जर हे आंदोलन झालंच नसतं तर? दिगंबर कामतने माझा वैयक्तिक फायदा केलेला माझ्या नेहमीच लक्षात राहील. :P  पण आज मी जे जसे आहे त्याला हे आंदोलनच कारण आहे हे मात्र खरं.

जवळ जवळ एक वर्ष उलटून गेल्यानंतर  त्या स्मृतींवर आज एक प्रकाश घालण्याचा मनात विचार आला आणि माझ्या एवढ्या 'समाधानी' वृत्तीचं कारण उलगडण्याचाही विचार आला म्हणून हे  विचार वाहू दिलेत. :)

Don't Suicide- Life's beautiful :)

Sometimes I feel like taking nirvana.. Nah! Don’t be so happy, I only think of it and I make sure I get rid of the thought ASAP! ;) But the big reason I feel this, is because of the rat race! We fight like rats to get over the top. That is okay. But when someone gets there, we get hurt only because we couldn’t make it there. Hello? What do you get when you get jealous of others eh? What? You are burning yourself! As if you are committing suicide. The person getting there isn’t responsible for the situation, you are!

No. Not because you couldn’t make it there. Luck matters. You weren’t bad. He was better. But you are wrong the moment you feel humiliated with other’s success.. Clap for it! Enjoy it rather. You will always feel better. Your loss wasn’t when you lost, it was when you thought you have lost! If you think you didn’t win, yes you right. But if you think you have lost, you are right again. Only because you’ve lost the spirit of sportsmanship!

I’ve heard there are coaching centers where they train you to get to the door step of success. (I’ve got no idea if they are successful or not. And don’t ask for any contact numbers. I disregard such stuff :P) But they aren’t so necessary. People get there some way somehow. By pulling someone else down; bribe; the “bhagwan, baba ka aashirwaad”; or by simply working hard. People use different ways to get there. Some stay there too. But what we really need to do, is open up coaching centers to guide people through when they don’t make it there.

No. Not again so that they get on to the path of success. Hypnotism, psychiatrists, counselors are doing a great job with that. We need centers to actually coach them to not get jealous with what others have got.  It’s okay if someone else has won.  It took something different to get there, maybe they had it. But you need to appreciate it.

For ex, MS Dhoni( not just because he’s ma favorite player and all that). Poor guy(do not take the literal meaning), makes it to the play offs. Call it luck or fixing. Accept that he made it there. He did tremendously well in the qualifiers. Made it to the finals. So? Jealous? He got there. Clap champ! Point out no loop holes unless you’ve got the proof that it was fixed. No. A big No!

Same way, stop the blame game. We, Indians, have got the habit. We are more interested in what our neighbors are doing when our house has already caught fire! And mind you I see it every day. Every single day. And I always smile at their mentality. The least amount of time god must have spent on these people to design their mentality. Education, status, money- the world’s biggest traders also can’t trade mentality. God should spend ample amount of time on your mentality and not on your brain. Someone is less intelligent, it’s okay. He’ll earn his bread. Do his bit for the society. And leave this world. He would neither harm nor improve the society. Because he has the mentality, but poor thing can’t put the mentality to practice the good things because he hasn’t got the brains. People with brains and good mentality both(this combo is super precious.. God spends most of his time on it) improve the society. Try to uplift the society by helping the less intelligent people. But they can’t do anything for the next 2 categories. One is with wrong mentality and poor brains. And the other is wrong mentality and awesome brains. (Rich [black money richness not the white one J] human beings [read as entities] and politicians{lemme mention: NOT ALL: they might file a case against me. ‘sansad ka apmaan and stuff’} add value to this one because they are a part of it.)

Logically, coaching centers can’t help anybody. :P because mentality is god gifted. If you’ve got intelligence. Nice. If you’ve got good mentality. Salute. But if you’ve got a combo, *RESPECT*.

So, next time when you lose, remember to keep a check on what you are thinking about the person winning. And tick the category you belong to. It’ll be a secret though, but you’ll know the minima you can get. J

Keep up the check game. Success will be all yours!

Hoping that this will change your mentality.

Toodles amis! J

Good night J